How Guided Imagery Helps Children

How Do You Help…?

How do you help a six-year-old girl who won’t go to sleep in her bedroom because she "sees" dinosaurs at night, peeping at her from behind the door? What do you do with a boy who still wets his bed, years after all his friends are dry at night? And what about the little girl who dreads going anywhere near the swimming pool?

Star-Charts Have Limits

Many parents use star-charts to try and influence their children’s behaviour, giving stars and presents for the behaviour they want to see. And naturally, when kids struggle with unrealistic fears, parents reassure them, explaining that there is nothing to be afraid of. Unfortunately, the efficiency of such approaches is often limited.

Star-charts are good for motivating children to do things that they know how to do, but can’t be bothered. They are useless when children have no idea how to do what we ask. You can use a star-chart to motivate a boy who knows how to get dressed to put on his school uniform without too much fuss. You can also use it to help a little girl remember to take her PE kit to school, or to mind her Ps and Qs.

But if your son hasn’t yet learned to control his bladder, stick-charts and other incentives can be counter-productive. He probably wishes he could wake up in a dry bed as much as you do. The star-chart is likely to make him feel even worse about himself – after all, it highlights his failure.

Reassurance Doesn’t Always Work

Reassurance sometimes helps scared kids, but more often it does not. The little girl probably knows that the local swimming pool is quite safe – after all, her friends spend many happy hours there. As to dinosaurs – all kids know they all died zillions of years ago. That doesn’t stop them from sneaking into bedrooms all over the globe in the dark of the night.

Children who wet their beds, or soil themselves, or wake up in the middle of the night unable to go back to sleep, understand what they need to do and why they need to do it. And kids who have unrealistic fears and worries know on some level that their fear is baseless. They don’t need information that they already know, they need help – whether it’s to become more aware of their body signs, or be more relaxed at night – and they need strategies for overcoming their fears.

Using Guided Imagery

This is where work in guided imagery can be helpful. It can aid kids who already wish to change, but feel unable to do so. The principle is simple: imagination is a very strong resource that we all have, which is much stronger than willpower. And once children are able to imagine themselves doing things that would ordinarily scare them – when completely relaxed – they are more likely to be able to turn these thoughts into reality. Imagination can also help kids become more attuned to bodily signals, such as the sign that they need to go to the toilet.

It works for adults too. So if you wish to try this out yourself, you will need to set some time aside. You also need to detach yourself emotionally from the problem. There is absolutely no point in trying to help your child calm down when you are anxious yourself!

Guided Imagery at Bedtime

A good time to practice this is just before your children go to bed, when they are happy and relaxed. You can ask your daughter to imagine herself saying hello to the visiting dinosaurs, reminding them that they are not real and asking them to go elsewhere. You can get your son to imagine himself noticing the signs his bladder gives him at night, and getting up immediately to go to the toilet. And you can get the little girl to imagine herself dipping her toe in the swimming pool, slowly and calmly. To get results, you may need to do this again and again, one evening after the other. And you need to make sure that children stay calm and relaxed throughout the process.

Human Givens Practitioners

If you stick to imagining positive experiences, you are not going to cause your children any harm. However, if you are not sure that you can stay calm and objective, or would like some input from an experienced professional, you may wish to try a few sessions with a Human Givens practitioner who is experienced in working with kids.

Human Givens practitioners use guided imagery to help with various issues. As well as the examples above, they deal with children’s exam stress, stage fright, the impact of scary films and violent computer-games, or any other unpleasant past experience that still impacts kids’ lives. You should be able to sit in the session with your child, and if appropriate, reinforce the work at home.

Good luck with it!